Rev. Richard Smith
Romans 12:16, 18 Live in harmony with one another…If it is possible, as far as depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Paul invites us here in verses 16 and 18 to live harmoniously and peacefully with one another. He, of course, is referencing our personal relationships in life. No question this is a noteworthy and noble goal for every sincere Christian; especially in the climate of friction and discord we see all around us. As I’ve often noted, Jesus followers who, as best any of us can, try to be people of harmony and peace are key seed planters for God’s Kingdom values.
At the same time, Paul offers us two significant caveats; two realities which can block the best efforts at wholesome and cordial connection.
First, he tells us to live at peace with one another “if it is possible”. There’s no getting around that there are people with whom peace and harmony seem a far fetched goal. I wrote back in November about “sandpaper people” and perhaps you’ll want to reference that post again. This doesn’t free us from the call to seek to live a Jesus-style life among people, even the most difficult ones, but it does give us some emotional and spiritual buffer. Some people won’t let us live cohesively with them…their obstinance; their judgmentalism; their “I’m right, you’re wrong” mindset; their intransigent intolerance to those who are different, etc.
Secondly, Paul tells us to live at peace with others “as far as it depends on us”. The key here is that we are making a concerted effort to be in constructive relationship, doing all that we can to build connection, working diligently for a healthy give and take, consciously seeking to make things work for good. Even then, Paul intimates, some relationships just won’t work because the other won’t let it work. As noted above, there are some people who just simply won’t let peace and harmony exist and thus who, in spite of our best efforts, are not a healthy engagement.
A penetrating question we cannot ignore amidst a fractured relationship is whether we truly have done all we can. Have we given the other person credibility as a child of God? Have we done our best to listen and understand? Have we done our best to temper rising negative emotions? Have we prayed diligently – for the other person, for the relationship, for ourself? None of us, of course, will ever do these things perfectly, but we cannot ignore that Jesus followers are called to a higher level of patience and understanding.
